CONTACT ME

Look, I know what you're thinking. Why would anyone want to contact a bitter, failed musician who teaches recorder to preteens in a town nobody's heard of?

Good question.

Maybe you want to tell me my review of your favorite album was wrong. (I wasn't.) Maybe you're one of my former bandmates wanting to reconnect. (Please don't.) Maybe you're a student who found this blog and wants extra credit. (Nice try, Tyler.)

If you absolutely must reach out, you can email me at: lorne.cadence@maplecrrekmusicmisery.com

I check it between grading papers and contemplating my life choices, so expect a response sometime between immediately and never.

You can also find me at:

• Maple Creek Elementary, Room 12B (office hours: when I'm not hiding from students)
• The Broken Reed Tavern (most Friday nights, crying into overpriced craft beer)
• The annual Maple Creek Music Educators Conference (mandatory attendance, unfortunately)

Please DO NOT contact me about

• Giving your kid private guitar lessons
• Your band's demo CD
• Pyramid schemes disguised as "music education opportunities"
• Reunion tours for bands that never toured in the first place

Please DO contact me about

• Typos in my reviews (I'm petty like that)
• If you knew Willy DeVille and want to share stories
• Job opportunities that don't involve teaching "Hot Cross Buns"

—Lorne

P.S. - If you're from Spotify/Apple Music/Tidal or any streaming service: I still buy physical media like a civilized person. Stop ruining music.